In the months since the referendum we’ve been investigating the types of immediate changes that would have been made by Parliament had Scotland voted “yes”. Today we have learned that the first brutal policy to be introduced would have seen the Scots barred from entering or watching Britain’s Got Talent.
“If you exclude yourself from Britain then you don’t get the privileges that go along with it”, explained spokesperson yesterday. “Saying no to David Cameron means saying no to Simon Cowell”.
Many believe this is the real reason Scotland voted to remain in the UK. In the words of Sean Locke, shows like BGT and X Factor have been crucial for “providing a few lucky members of the public with a gap year from Argos” for over a decade now.