Our expert team of analysts have broken down the trailer into each frame, and we’ve found some exclusive hints of what Far Cry 4 will offer. We are 100% sure that you will not find this information anywhere else on the internet.
That’s because the rest of the internet is posting articles just like this that tell you nothing you didn’t already know. We are too, but we’re doing it to make you laugh. And maybe talk about the game a bit too.
1. The Ubisoft Logo is made of Cocaine
We can derive one of two things from this. The game was created under the (heavy) influence of narcotics, or coke itself will feature in the game. Our bet is on both.
If this isn’t coke, we’re not sure what Ubi are trying to achieve by showing you their logo made from ‘generic mysterious white powder’. Hmmmm…
2. Pirates Confirmed
Ubisoft first introduced pirates into their games with Assassin’s Creed 3, and since then they’ve become known as the games industries most pirate-friendly publisher. Pirating and Ubisoft go hand-in-hand. We spotted what is clearly a pirate’s flag making a breif cameo in the Far Cry 4 trailer, meaning that the game will feature pirates.
We’ll seriously laugh if pirates end up in the new game. It’s a typical move for a games companies to take one thing that worked in a game and then shove it EVERYWHERE. *Cough* Call of duty breach ‘n clear *cough*
3. Captain Jack Sparrow
The bus scene features a character who is clearly an aged Jack Sparrow, cementing our theory of pirates playing a major role in the game.
It also reminds us of Johnny Depp, and that is infuriating. Perhaps Penelope Cruz’s nose will also make an appearence as a shark’s fin?
4. Knee Pads
Knee pads are in vogue right now in the games industry. We found a pair hiding in the Advanced Warfare trailer too. It’s interesting to see Ubisoft keep their game ‘in fashion’ by rendering knee pads.
We at Fully ‘Avin It want to start a trend on the internet of pointing out knee pads in video games. You can help us by emailing any knee pads you spot to KneePadBadger@fullyavinit.com
You probably missed these nipple tassels which have been attached to the window of the bus. But we didn’t These tassels likely foreshadow a sexy dance you will do to defeat the boss in the game’s final level. It’ll be a bit like this scene from Wild Wild West:
Let us know if we missed anything by commenting below.