Square Enix ‘didn’t intend to cause confusion’ with Tomb Raider Announcement. No Shit.

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The award for stating the obvious to a twatish degree goes to SQUARE ENIX.

Square Enix, the ultimate keepers of the key to Lara Croft’s chastity belt, have felt the need to clarify that they “didn’t intend to cause confusion” with their recent exclusivity announcement. While every other games journalism outlet on the internet will be covering this as a normal bit of news, Fully ‘Avin It would like to take this opportunity to point out how sincerely and deeply moronic this statement is.

The implication is that before Square made this statement, the whole world was under the impression that they had deliberately intended to cause confusion. This further implies that we expect games companies to sometimes intend to cause confusion – but this was not one of those occasions.

Thank you, Square Enix, for clearing that up. Also:

“We did not make this [exclusivity] decision lightly” – Square Enix

Again, thank you for this information. We’d assumed that some porky asshole wearing a 9-piece suit and clutching a bag of cash with a dollar-sign printed on the side had literally chosen exclusivity rights by throwing darts at a wall with different console names on it. Blindfolded.

Mike Tyson helps Square Enix negotiate exclusivity rights for Tomb Raider

Statements like this aren’t news, they’re an insult to gamers. Think about it – when would a company ever say “We intended to cause confusion. We arrived at the decision lightly”?  The fact that SE made the opposite statement speaks to how they view their audience. Like a load of whining, touchy idiots who cry and pick apart every announcement they get.

Oh, wait…

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