The Untold Victims of The Console War: Former Xbox Gamers Lament Crash in Value of Gamerscore

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As Sony trampled Microsoft’s brittle skull to ash, they emerged victorious from this generation’s console war. But at what cost?

Over-zealous fan-boys and foolish pre-orderers are the casualties we usually count in a console war. But in the modern world, the effects of the war reach far beyond the battlefield – right into the gaming economy. Xbox One’s downfall caused a sudden and violent drop in the street value of gamer-score – the highest in recorded history. 

One analyst compares it to the great depression of the early 1900s. “People don’t know what to do. They’ve slaved for years building up a number on a screen, only to have it dashed by bad decisions made at corporate HQs.”

That analyst, who we cannot possibly name, has a good point. The corporate greed of Microsoft and endless policy shifts created an instability in the market, and as a result the value of gamer-score has plummeted.

We interviewed William Holder, a 25-year-old construction worker from Skegness. “Banter on site was easy before the war”, Willy explains. “Gamerscore always beat that weird PSN level system. And if you had less than 20,000 score we’d call you a nonce.”

Times, sadly, have changed. “Now, most of us have switched to PS4 and we haven’t a clue what our scores mean. We’re all just level six, except for that quiet guy who had a PS3 and likes to sit playing games in absolute silence”.

When we asked Sony’s head office in Japan to clarify what the Playstation trophy system actually means we only got the following response:

Trophy System is series of numbers. It represent how much of disappointment you are to your parents.

We replied to Sony’s Japan office, asking what level one would need to attain in order not to disappoint their parents. We received the following answer:

NO

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