The Pokemon Company has just announced that, in collaboration with Bandai Namco, it is creating a new Pokemon fighting game based on the infamous Tekken engine dubbed Pokken Tournament…bit of shit name.
However don’t get your pants all moist just yet, it’s currently only being developed (as far as we know) as an arcade game with no news of it being developed for consoles or any other device, or even whether it’ll be smuggled out of Japan where it’s scheduled for release in 2015.
Now unless this collaboration is the start of many happy fruitful relationships with other developers around the world, Nintendo is continuing to miss a trick and some bloody massive tricks at that. With such a huge fan base and successful handheld titles why oh why is the Pokemon franchise not more widespread among console games? Yes Pokken Tournament may be a lot of fun if it ever gets to our consoles in 2016 but what about the other games that would benefit from a Pokollaboration? Imagine these:
CAN YOU SMEEEEEEEEELL, WHAT THE BROCK, IS COOKING? Probably something to feed underage girls, police officers and nurses you dirty bastard. But just imagine some badass Motorhead walk-on music blaring and out comes the tag team of Machamp & Geodude in full 1080p (or less for Xbox One) glory. Seismic Tossing will never be the same again.
The Elder Scrolls: Kanto
Arguably the most desired type of Pokemon game going. Take an Elder Scrolls world in stunning detail and replace all of its ghouls and goblins with Jigglypuffs & Jynxs. Exploring the vast world with nothing but your pokeballs & pokedex, take quests to capture Ditto, rid gloomy dungeons of Ghastly’s and absorb the souls of legendary Charizards. Join Team Rocket and go around capturing Pokemon as slaves and making them build you a big fuck off mansion or train them as equals as you aim to become (Dovahkin!!!) the number one Pokemon trainer in Tamriel!
The Last of Us: Pikachu Pandemic
Ash & Misty take their Pokemon to a Pokecentre only for alarms to start going off as the machine has told us it cannot return Pikachu to full health…as he’s infected and is shot in the head instantly. In a rage Ash snatches Pikachu back to his garage where he somehow slowly saves his life by tending to his wounds whilst Misty fights off the authorities in back alley Pokemon fights to the death. Follow their journey across Kanto as they seek a cure for Pikachu whilst infecting a bunch of Pokemon on the way. Spoiler alert: the cure is in Johto & it takes ages to catch a Lapras to get there, Misty gets crushed by a bloated Snorlax whilst Ash succumbs to a hoarde of Mr Mime Clickers. Pikachu survives…