Sources inside Simon Cowell’s camp have suggested that X-Factor 2015 will completely ditch singing to focus further on exploring fabricated backstories.
The show has long been known for juxtaposing its ostensible purpose as a singing contest with unnecessary coverage of the contestant’s sad lives. From dead grandparents to single-parent struggles, the show usually wants you to vote based on how rough the artists lives have been.
x factor tears“The X-Factor is an undefinable quality”, said one insider who only wishes to be known as Kermit O’Cleary. “Most people assumed that ‘X-Factor’ meant talent, but in reality it means emotional baggage”.
As of this season it is likely that auditions will compose of a back-story montage, followed by a short audition composed of nothing but crying. The judges will base their vote on that alone. X Factor 2015 is truly a different beast.
This will likely mean changes in casting policy; with singing no longer a prerequisite the floor is now open to all manner of contestants. We spoke to several homeless people who are literally thrilled with the news.
“Naturally we don’t own televisions, but we know what the X Factor is”, explained one homeless man we approached. “But nobody has sadder back-stories than us – we’ll be shoe-in for the next Christmas Number One”.
Several of the homeless we spoke to were already starting to draft song ideas, although some did struggle creating words that rhyme with “Issue”.
Others, though, are less enthusiastic. “This isn’t what the show is about”, said one mothersingle mother and X Factor superfan. “It’s about watching people who can’t sing embarrass themselves during the audition phase.”
Whatever the real strength of the show is, all parties do seem to agree that it’s not about extremely talented singers.
Simon Cowell was surprisingly unavailable for comment.
X Factor 2015 X factor 2015